Subjinn propagandada, skullduggery and assorted flotsam and jetsam

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

"Be not afraid. Be fucking terrified"
-Jesus of Nazareth commenting on Shub-Niggurath

The Pre-cambrian Hallucinogenia is a Subjinn animal because nobody knows if it's right side up or upside down.

The Chameleon is a Subjinn animal because contrary to the belief that it changes color to match it's environment, it actually changes color to match it's mood.

"Chameleon" is also used to describe an inconstant person.

At the age of 21, Sir Francis Dashwood departed on (his) The Grand Tour, fornicating his way through Europe where he seduced Empress Anne of Russia, disguised as Charles XII and speaking a sort of gibberish which he claimed was Swedish.
After leaving Russia he went on to Turkey. Upon stumbling upon The Oriental Lodge Of The Screaming Scimitar in Istanbul, where Sir Francis took to dressing in turkish robes, wore a jewelled scimitar and sat on a heap of cushions smoking a hookah while beautiful subjinessess nude to the waist and wearing transparent gossamer trousers, paraded before him. At intervals, Sir Francis would remove the mouthpiece of the hookah long enough to exclaim "By the Prophet's Beard, 'tis indeed a houri from Paradise!"
After his return, inspired by his experience in Istanbul as part of The Hellfire Club he formed The Divan Club. To join you only had to have travelled to Turkey. The members dressed as Turks and held "banquets" to which ladies of easy virtue were invited. Various oriental narcotics were consumed as were al' kahol spirits.
They seemed to have enjoyed boasting about their exploits more than performing them and held endless "Istanbouldada sessions" on the "art" of subjinniism.

A Subdervish can survive almost anything with only three things: hashish, a fez (with matching underwear) and a formidable supply of batteries for the remote control.

Subdervishes very often stumble upon the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and
act as if nothing has happened.

Subjinnessess who seek equality with subjinns, lack ambition.

A Subjinn who hears the word "paradise" asks "is there anything worth looting there?"
-Persian saying

After shaking hands with a Subjinn, count your fingers.
-Albanian saying
Following an article in the Screaming Scimitar magazine concerning the conversion to the Subjinn Metric System there was a stream of letters to the editor. Among them was this gem of thought-provoking tongue-in-cheek logic:
"Bearing in mind the time honored adage that 28.349527 grams of prevention are worth 0.4535924 kilograms of cure, I am preparing for Metric Subjinnery.
"I see no difficulty in the explanation of the 60.96 centimeter crossed scimitars and deaths head. Obviously the palm trees due east and west and 1.8288 meters perpendicular is child's play. My problem is haemorrhoids. How many piles in a cubit?"

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